i think i'm having an identity crisis. i dont actually know what that is..but i think this might be one of them..hah! no that the term matters anyway..
anywayz i was watching my juniors play against RJ today.. i haven watched them play before so i cant say whether they did well or not..but i guess they did pretty well in the first half..although they could have done better if they had rmbred to Block out and if they had the initiative to go for rebounds.. that part was quite bad.. and i think that was the main cause of their demise..
it was quite sad and frustrating to see them play at some point in time.. and i could see the frustration on Jasmine's face..she was quite solo but i can totally understand why she is so.. it really aint her fault but maybe she could have passed it to others a little more..maybe she just wasnt used to doing so...she has quite an attitude i must say..and it kinda reminds me of how i was like when i was under Baoling..i argued with her quite alot..and i was quite rude.. it makes me a little ashamed of myself come to think of it.. and i feel terrible for being so..
speaking of Baoling, i did see her cuz she's now coaching RJ.. sigh..but i didnt like go up and talk to her.. partly cuz i felt ashamed of myself.. i mean the old me..but i hope i'll be able to on the coming friday.. i hope she'll be there.
watching the girls play makes me wanna play bball again..i can feel the passion, the excitement and all the euphoria coming back when i was with the team a few years back... i guess the passion will never die completely.. it makes me kinda regret not working harder when i was in SA.. like i never did train much on my own..in the past i thought just being there every training session was pretty good..but now i realised, thats what everyone does and to do better u just have to do more on your own...
i regret not going to the gym or running more on my own to train my stamina.. i always thought what i had was enough, which is complete bull la.. and i regret giving up so easily, being scared of everything so easily.. watching the girls play today, they were all so fearless when facing the opponent..and although some of them were not good with ball handling, they dribbled when the situation called for it.. i guess i was just too cowardy.. and i still am.. my ball handling wasnt too bad back then..but i still didnt dare to dribble..always passing it to someone else..pushing the responsibility as Mr tan would say..
i realise how terrible a player i've been and how terrible my character has been..so easily defeated, easily scared of everything! i guess i just have to be brave. i've got nothing to lose anywayz.. (except my face) haha.. jia you SA girls!! i hope we beat HC this fri.. i do think we can.. i've got faith in them.. in Wan Mei and Yeu Ai.. my beloved BP juniors.. They've grown so much (*sobs*) hahaa.. i love Team SA..
